The week after the cast was removed I was fairly elated. I exfoliated, plucked and massaged my newly released leg and willed it to start working. I had Physio twice a week and daily exercises. I thought it would take a week or so max.

I don’t think I expected how much physical and mental energy it would take. The physical I kind of expected, but I really wasn’t ready for how STUCK my ankle was. It was literally like concrete and the bones ground together when the physio started forcing them to work. My muscles were tied in knots….. like a dead leg, but a billion times worse.

The mental side is, I think, tougher to crack. You literally have to convince your brain that it is ok to put weight on your foot. And to convince your brain, you have to believe it yourself and ignore all the panic and danger signals it sends out. I had to actually mentally prepare yourself every time I put my foot down… and practice and practice until I didn’t have to think about it anymore.

When someone at the hospital said to me the recovery was going to take at least 6 months I guess I didn’t really believe them.. or I thought that it might just be a bit achy or stiff or something. One of the toughest things is to deal with people who say ’so how long is it going to take?’. I guess it’s an obvious question… but the thing is, I don’t have an answer for it. Everyone is different and each injury is never alike. Other comments I encountered were a little less understanding… but probably not worth sharing.

The key was small amounts of progress at a time. First it was just putting my foot on the ground using the crutches. Then it was using only one crutch and hobbling around like Quasimodo. Then it was walking with a large limp. Then walking with a small limp and only using crutches to get up and down the stairs. There was bad days where my ankle would swell up and stiffen and I’d feel like I’d gone backwards again.

I’m just grateful now for the normalcy of life we are enjoying now. I still have issues going down stairs and I still have a fair bit of rehabilitation to go before my leg is completely functional again (it’s amazing how much muscle you lose!). But things are definitely a billion times better.

Things that got me through: Haoran, online grocery shopping and God’s faithfulness.

Day 1

Arriving somewhere is the dead of night can be interesting. The drive from the airport and the blurry stumble into the house (in our case a nappy change and a feed) and into bed isn’t a proper introduction to the country you’ve just landed in. So the next morning is quite literally a brand new day.

Today hasn’t really been too jam-packed. This morning we went to visit Ah Ma – Haoran’s grandmother and Micah’s great-grandmother who lives a few doors down from where we are staying. She fed him way too many of her wonderfully delicious baked goods. Then we went out for ‘breakfast’ although as it was 11am it was more like brunch. As it was late morning, I quite happily stomached satay, delicious laksa and a few pieces of roti stolen from Haoran. Micah slept in the pram with beads of sweat forming on his forehead from the solid humidity. I was informed that Malaysian food was so varied that we could have something different almost every day. I had no problem with that.

My automatic reaction to Malaysia is to compare it to my only other Asian point of reference: Bangladesh. And there are comparisons. The architecture, vegetation, shops and advertising remind me heavily of Dhaka, yet cleaner.. and it doesn’t have the smell. The roads are quite tame compared to what I was expecting – but I’m told it’s different in KL. They use heaps of wood in their houses, all the window frames and floors are wooden and Asian styled.

This is only the second time I’ve been on a overseas trip that isn’t a mission. And this is the only time I will have been in one place for quite a long time. I think I’m going to enjoy discovering and savouring this place.

Day 2

Woke to rain this morning… Malaysian rain. Had laksa again for breakfast. Still good. Found out that wearing thongs when it’s wet here means slipping and sliding and almost falling on your bum wherever you walk.

We decided on an indoor tourist activity and went to the Sarawak Museum. Somehow we managed to park on the dinky museum side.. although there were a few interesting things. The first place we explored had a floor of stuffed animals and fish suspended in formaldehyde. The second floor was creepy as well but in a different way. They had a full size representation of a long house. I walked in the first time and majorly freaked out when I saw bunches of human skulls hanging from the ceiling. Haoran came in with me later and we had fun trying out the stairs to the second level which comprised of a pole with small notches in it. Later I found out the reason for the human skulls was that this particular long house would have belonged to the Iban – or head hunters! We also saw a few instruments used to ‘beautify’ women including huge earring for huge holes in ears and flattening the front part of the head!

We passed by the Art Museum – which wasn’t very well established and a lot of the artworks didn’t have any information about them. We then paid 4 ringit to go into the Natural History Museum where they were having a special exhibition on fossilised wood. The thing was that that was all it was… room after room full of chunks of stone in the shape of wood. Haoran and I were mildly amused.

The main museum was very interesting. We saw an exhibition on pottery, displays on the archeological digs that have happened in the area. And the history of Kuching and Malaysia in general. I learned about the White Rajas and occupation by the Japanese. It gave me a better idea of the country. And, best of all, Micah slept the hour and a half that we were there.  :)

Another thing that reminds me of Bangladesh: Haoran’s uncle and aunt keep a maid from Indonesia… she reminds me so much of the Bangla girls from the orphanage. Especially when I went up to our room and found all our things neatly ordered and folded.  She calls me aunty and is enamored by Micah.  He vomited on her last night – poor thing!

Also the longer I’m here the more I understand the little quirky things that Haoran’s parents do. The seemingly illogical things they do that will always have a good reason – and their over-protection of their polished wooden floor.

Food of the day: ‘Kueh’ a snack like food that the locals eat pretty much whenever they want to. It can be a variety of things.. we had soft sweet glutinous rice cakes and spicy/sweet coconut in a roll of glutinous rice and barbecued in a banana leaf. Micah LOVED the cake and so did I. I think I may have to get me some more of that.

Day 3

A nothing day – but on purpose. We needed a day to pause and rest. It was actually a lovely day to stay inside as it was raining Malaysian-style. We ventured out briefly to get more kueh… but other than that read and relaxed. Haoran’s aunt and uncle’s place is good for that… plus they have internet.

Day 4

Back to being a tourist.  Haoran’s mother arrived last night so this morning she was over as soon as she could to get a glimpse of her beloved grandson. Then another of Haoran’s uncles arrived back in town and joined us for yet another breakfast out. It was not long before it was decided that since the sun was making an appearance we should go visit the Sarawak Cultural Village.

As soon as we arrived at the village we rushed to catch the cultural dance demonstrations for the different tribal groups. Micah was absolutely fascinated by the costumes and colours and movement. Then we headed off to explore. They basically had a house representing how each tribal group lived. We saw people carving bamboo poles, weaving, cooking, playing instruments and husking grain. It was awesome because you could just go up and chat to them and they would explain what they were doing.

Also, to be honest, it was nice not to be the only white girl in the crowd…

After getting sweltering hot, it ended up raining again and we had to run to the car while getting soaked through. We arrived home to find out that Ah-Ma had made kueh which definitely made it all better.

Tonight my father-in-law attempted to feed me something he described as ‘jungle avocado’ – actually called a durian. It was the consistency of dried out custard and DID NOT taste like avocado. It tasted extremely strong – it reminded me of garlic – but sweet. Needless to say I didn’t have any more and in the search to cleanse my palate finally found a taste for lychees. Apparently it’s an acquired taste – one I definitely don’t understand!

We spent the evening playing Mah-jong with Ah-Ma – Haoran alternately playing and helping me play. After a few rounds I found my feet and was almost playing solo. Ah-Ma is kind of formidable in this game, however, and it does make you quite nervous! I left to go to sleep… but the others are still playing as I type.

Day 5

We refrained from going out to breakfast and Haoran’s Dad’s friend was going to take us out for lunch. We had a quiet morning and Micah slept. Then we headed out to lunch at a proper Chinese restaurant – more like those in Sydney – rather than the outdoor crazy places with kitchens everywhere where we have been usually having our meals.

Afterwards it was decided we would go to a newer shopping centre for a bit of retail therapy. This place was quite upmarket compared to the other shopping centre we had visited. It had consisted mostly of phone stores (how many phone stores does one place need?) and was run down like most places here. Anyway this place had mostly brand name stores and was quite similar to an Australian shopping centre. I managed to find a few gifts, some thong-like crocs for me and training chopsticks for Micah.

We spent the most time (and money) in the DVD store. We found a box set of Studio Ghibli and Coraline on DVD. Plus Haoran’s mum picked me out a Korean soap opera series as I had so liked the one she lent me.

That night we played more Mah-Jong. I played a full game by myself this time – but Ah-Ma still insisted that I be supervised. After I won a round I think she became less worried. I’m still fuzzy on certain things like the flowers and the winds and points… but Haoran commented that I play smart – so, although I lost money, I’m pretty happy with myself. I just have to concentrate a whole lot more than the others and use my cheat sheet to interpret the Chinese numbers. You also have to be really quick to set up the tiles or they just start without you.

Day 6

I slept in this morning.. feeling a little worn out from Mah-Jong. We went out for breakfast again this morning. I was feeling a little delicate so I got a Chinese comfort food. Porridge flavoured with pork and sprinkled with fried onion. Exactly what I needed. I’ve had hot sweetened soy milk , cane sugar drink and coconut drink – but my definite drink of choice would have to be iced lemon tea. So refreshing in this climate… just good.

Spent a quiet afternoon watching my Korean DVD’s while the others planned our trip to see family in Miri the next day. That night I tasted my first mango stein – a weird-looking sweet/sour fruit with a hard shell. Both Micah and I loved it.

Day 7

Today we’re off to Miri – a town close to the border of Brunei and therefore closely associated with the Shell oil company. We’re going to visit  Haoran’s Aunt, another uncle and a cousin and his family. They have two girls who love playing with Micah so it’s be nice for him to have kids to play with.

We are staying with Haoran’s aunt this time. The house is a bit smaller but we’re really only here for two days.

We have lunch at a cafe and I have Masi Lameck for the first time. The sambal is sweet to start and then burns after a minute. Apparently the rice isn’t right according to Haoran’s mum. It should be creamier and more coconutty.

Then out to dinner for seafood – of course since we are at a seaside town. I am very tired and go to bed early.

Day 8

I wake late and the others bring me back noodles from their breakfast out.  Haoran’s uncle picks us up and drives us around Miri. Not a particularly interesting town – a university, a shopping centre, and industry area. But the food is good. We went out for lunch at the boat club next to the sea. the sea is a peculiar brown colour and you can see the oil rigs in the distance.  I have the ’special’ laksa.. which means it has more good bits in it.

We went back to Haoran’s uncle’s place which is also home to Haoran’s cousin and his family. We hung out and made use of the air conditioning, lounges, TV and Wii.

Then back to Haoran’s aunt’s for a dinner of mega-fresh prawns, crabs and delicious satay. I tried what they called ‘jungle fruit’ which hadlovely soft sweet/sour flesh. I also tried a fruit that was something between a kiwi fruit and a fig – Haoran’s mum’s favourite.

As I said.. Miri has been all about the food.

Day 9

Today packed up our stuff and had an early lunch at Haoran’s cousin’s cafe before heading to the airport and back to Kuching.

Haoran and I were feeling the need for some family time and blocked off the afternoon for us. After a relaxing afternoon we fed Micah dinner and headed to a shopping centre. Picked up some groceries and cheap Malaysian nappies.  I also found a couple of nice earrings (I’m after studs since Micah pulls anything else out of my ears). And then we hit the department store and perused the clothing. I was quite pleased with what was there. Most things were 100% cotton (which makes sense in this climate) and were quite modest with the necklines heaps more reasonable that what you find in Sydney. I have trouble with necklines due to breast-feeding plus with Micah pulling at my clothes all the time – so I went a little crazy. Haoran found some nice shirts too and with everything on special it ended up being $10AUD a shirt. Yay for the exchange rate!

Day 10

Today Haoran and I went and did some touristy stuff by ourselves. We went to the waterfront which was pretty and had all the souvenir shopping. I didn’t buy souvenirs – I find the sameness in each shop kind of tacky. But I did buy some nice pearl earrings and few gifts for people at home.

We then had a quick look at the Chinese Historical Museum – since it’s part of Haoran and Micah’s heritage. It wasn’t much – just one big room with information posted on the walls and some artifacts – and a man and his daughter asleep at the counter. But there was some good information and it was good to get a better idea of the place.

We decided that it wasn’t going to happen – and at least we had had the experience of a jungle-walk of sorts.

I don’t feel pangs of homesickness that often. But the pattern has always been that after 2 weeks of being overseas all I want to do is be at home. Luckily we were already on our way home when this kicked in. But there’s no describing the relief of touching down.. seeing a familiar face at the airport.. driving familiar streets.. and walking in the front door. Bliss.

My baby is one. Correction… my almost-toddler is one! Either way, Micah didn’t really have any idea what was going on. He just knew he got to rip wrapping paper, play with boxes and eat (sugar-free) cake. And he gets to do it all again at his belated birthday party and dedication.

It’s funny how his personality has emerged so much since he’s been able to get around. He crawling FAST and walking doesn’t seem too far away. He follows you around everywhere, especially in the kitchen because he knows that’s where food comes from. We call him ‘the seagull’ because if you have food, he’s there, trying to climb up on your knee and whining for your food. His food choices have become a lot more varied and exciting since the emergence of opposing teeth. Opposing teeth allow you to bite… and Micah takes advantage of that.

Micah LOVES anything technological (although we knew this early on when he wanted to play with our mobile phones) and will get his hands on anything with buttons or wires or electricity attached. As you can imagine, this is mostly uncool. This, along with the climbing as high as he can… are probably the most common causes for ‘removal’.

And we are also getting to see the not so fun sides of having a toddler as well. Micah has a habit, especially when he is happy or hyper, of hitting people’s faces. Doesn’t matter who it is at the moment… he’s just slappy. To add to this… if you have glasses you are likely to lose them within 2 minutes of being in Micah’s company.

With all this happening, we are now trying to get our heads around how to discipline a one year old. It’s a tough job considering we can’t be sure of how much he understands of either what we say or what he is and isn’t allowed to do. Although we aren’t against smacking, we are feeling that this just isn’t the time. It makes us feel terrible and Micah is just confused about what is happening. So we are sticking to an obvious display of disapproval, using the same key words eg: dangerous, naughty.. and removal from the situation.

It’s also been a time where we have been contemplating the fact that our kids don’t become sinful… they are born into a sinful world. Therefore we can’t have expectations that Micah will automatically be ‘good’… but that we will need to to teach him to be good. For college bible study next term we are going to be going through the study book for ‘Shepherding a Child’s Heart’ which is about biblical parenting. I have heard talks by Tedd Tripp before and I’ve started reading the book in preparation for the study and, apart from a hard line approach on physical discipline, he is very good.

The most recent thing I’ve read is about how many parents discipline based on the idea that the child has wronged the parent. Tedd says that a parent who aims to parent biblically should instead discipline based on the idea that the child has wronged God. This gives you an entirely different frame of parenting that is God-centered.  So when you talk to your children you remind them of what God requires of them and why He has made you their daddy or mummy in authority over them.

This makes sense to me. But not having older children, I really don’t know how his advice works in practice. His theory seems sound, but we all know that things can be different in the heat of the moment. I’m guessing it would be hard work just breaking through the ideas that you have picked up from your own parents, plus outsiders expectations.

I’m sure I’ll be getting many insights from the other mums on what works and what doesn’t so I’ll keep reporting as we go through the study…

Reporting back on that whole broken ankle thing. ..

Yes, I’m still on crutches. Yes I still have a cast on. And, yes, I’m getting more than a bit fed up.  Having said that, I’m learning alot about myself and also what it’s like have a long(ish) term injury.

Now you need to understand that I’m quite uncoordinated. Minus a functioning leg from that scenario and you have a girl that is terrified of her own crutches. I have fallen over 5 or 6 times in the last few weeks. Mostly resulting from crutch malfunction, or purely from losing my balance. One resulted in a sprained arm, another two times resulted in MASSIVE purple and black bruises on my thigh. All I can say is that it is NOT a good idea to fall on your son’s wooden truck. It hurts. Thankfully I haven’t managed to further injure my ankle in these falls.

So I have been progressively becoming more and more scared of using these evil crutches. Almost every night I dream that I can walk normally. It’s all I want right now.

I’ve spent a few nights grieving the loss of activity, of independence, of being able to carry my little boy.. or catch him when he falls. Plus the massive guilt I feel when I see Haoran constantly exhausted and stressed..  It has been so much tougher than I ever imagined. In fact, I can definitely say this last month has been the hardest one in our marriage and one of the hardest in my life.

The joyful moments do rise to the surface occasionally. Micah is a constant source (of course). He has just amazed me how he has just taken this all in his stride. He is now crawling ‘normally’ on his hands and knees… and getting pretty quick too. He’s sprouted two top teeth that only make an appearance when I dangle him over my knee and tickle his belly. He’s very curious and wants to know what everyone is up to.. and often gets underfoot (or crutch). I think he knows that he has to come to Mummy for a cuddle now instead of waiting for me to go to him. And he has coped so well with a constant stream of ’strangers’ in the house.

Joy also sprouts from the the love and generosity of people from family and college and church and Mothers Group. It has been truly overwhelming. People who anticipate my needs, who babysit when Haoran and I need space, even those who simply open a door for me. People who make this time bearable.

Tangent: speaking of opening doors… when you’re on crutches, to open a door is like an 18 step process… if the door automatically swings back it’s even more. An addition to the things I’ve learnt.

I realise that this is probably not the most terrible thing that could ever happen to a person. It’s temporary, fleeting. I am very thankful for that. Yet I find myself needing to drag myself out of that dark pit of depression time and time again. It’s possible being stuck indoors most of the time doesn’t help either.

I have a very large list of things I want to do when I get out of this cast. Problem is: I have no idea what function my leg will have after it’s out. Will it be all wobbly? Or will it still be sore? Will I still need to use those *%&% crutches? (Sorry Mum)

Either way, I am hanging out for the 9th March – which is when, if all things go to plan, I shed that cast and am FREE! In fact, I think a celebratory dinner is in order.

It sounds trite and corny… but I don’t think I’ll ever take walking for granted ever again.

And so in an apparent attempt to avoid that week, or perhaps to celebrate Australia Day.. and our homecoming, I broke my ankle on the stairs.

It sounds very dramatic.. but in some ways it wasn’t. I didn’t tumble down the stairs and land in a broken heap, neither was I attempting an interesting aerobic stair feat. I was simply walking down the stairs carrying Micah with Haoran following close behind.. and I went over on my ankle.

I’ve done this several times before, resulting in a painful and multi-coloured ankle for a week or so. But for none of these times was the ankle-roll accompanied by an almighty SNAP. That was the dramatic part.

Things happened a little too quickly for my mind to catch up – so I have no idea in what order these things happened. But yes.. there was a SNAP, and there was screaming and there was pain. It took me a moment to realise that I was the one screaming. Haoran took Micah and encouraged me to somehow put my ankle up. I wasn’t willing to move or for Haoran to touch it.. so there I was sitting in the middle of the stairs with my ankle resting tentatively on my other leg.

Poor Haoran went into panic mode – which is unusual for him since he would normally go straight into action. But as he explained later, it’s different when it’s me. Anyway for this reason, I had  to yell out instructions in between moans of pain from me and cries of frustration from Micah. It was actually a good distraction to run through the things we needed to do. Somehow the ambulance was called and G and M were on the way over to look after Micah.

The ambulance guys didn’t have to look very hard at my ankle to realise what had happened. So they gave me some wonderful painkillers and put my leg into one of their weird cardboard splint thingys. Then – because there was literally no other way – I had to come down the stairs on my bum.

They had a gurney waiting for me and so I was loaded up, rolled out of the house and packed into the back of the ambulance. A fleeting glimpse of Haoran and Micah and a wave – and we were off.

My first ride in an ambulance was short and uneventful.

Emergency at Canterbury Hospital… not where you want to be at the best of times. I spent 15 minutes in a hallway before they found a spot for me, and Haoran turned up a few minutes later. Then we found out what happens to you in emergency if your life is not in danger.

You WAIT.

Every step of the process was a 1 or 2 hour wait. The x-ray, the doctor looking at the x-ray, the doctor telling me that my ankle is broken (DUH.. could have told you that!) waiting to be moved into the ‘plaster room’, waiting for someone to plaster me in the plaster room. It was frustrating.. but Haoran was given some good advice before he left and was ready with a book, an iPod and my mobile. So I alternated between these things and napping.

Finally, after 6 hours in the ER, I was free – equipped with a heavy back-strap cast (to allow for swelling) and a pair of mis-matched crutches.

It was horrid to be away from Micah for that long – so it was lovely to get back and have many cuddles and feed the poor little guy. He apparently had had a whale of a time with his uncle and aunty and had behaved brilliantly!

So now… well. Things are tough. I think I would have been able to deal if I didn’t have Micah to look after too. There are many strategies that a person on crutches learns quickly. Wear pants with pockets. Keep a bag to carry stuff in. How to balance on the crutches while brushing your teeth. How to quickly and efficiently ascend the staircase backwards on your bottom.

But there is no good strategy for lifting a child out of a cot while on crutches… or carrying a child for that matter. There are so many things that are made 10 times more difficult by this injury. And it frustrates me no end.

But Haoran and I, after trying to make sense of the madness, have been trying to see what we can learn though this difficult season in our lives. I anticipate that I will learn patience and grace. But the biggest one will be how to receive grace.

Haoran and I have been blessed enough to have people willing to help out by giving their time while Haoran is at college. This is really great – but I still find it particularly difficult to ask for help, even when there is someone there willing to do it. I find that I feel like I’m barking orders, you know.. ‘The yellow bowl goes in the side cupboard next to the plates.. no not there.. behind you..’ etc.  It’s just really hard to ask for things if they’re not absolutely necessary.

I’m not sure what’s going to happen next. Mainly because I saw the doctor for exactly 3 seconds in the hospital. Hopefully when I get my new permanent cast on tomorrow I’ll get more answers on how long healing will take and how much I’ll be able to do.

In the meantime.. Facebook, Korean soap operas, church history books and an unhealthy amount of crotchet.

And.. I ask you.. what else should I do but blog?

On Monday we are flying to Malaysia with the express purpose to introduce Micah to his third Great Grandmother and various uncles and aunts. I am, perhaps unreasonably, stressed and anxious about the trip. I guess it’s the unfamiliarity and unknown.. something I was quite happy to deal with pre-baby.

Before Micah was born I was a person who liked routine. You know, the sort who has a routine for getting up in the morning etc. I am open to change, but generally my comfort lies in routine and  the familiar. This side of me is on hyper-drive now that we have Micah. I stress out when he doesn’t sleep when he’s supposed to.. or when I have to delay feeding him. He is on a written routine that I can recite for you – but that would be incredibly boring.

So hopefully you can understand my anxiety about an 8 hour plane trip, an unfamiliar destination and a 3 hour time difference.

The other thing that’s been interesting about this pending trip is that Haoran and I feel quite detached from it. It was organised by H’s parents… plane tickets, accomodation.. everything. So it’s quite different from our European trip where we planned every last minute. The thing is.. we have no ownership over it.

And as I said.. I’ve been trying not to dwell to much on it, so the actual realisation that… “Oh yeah! We’re going to another country on Monday!”.. hasn’t really set in.

In other news, Micah started pulling himself up to standing and roaming furniture over Christmas… which is kind of awesome. It also means we have to watch him more because he’s still getting his legs for it.

I know I shouldn’t be anxious about him.. he copes so well generally. He’ll probably be an angel on the flight and charm the pants off everyone. But I’m the mother – so I get to worry – it’s my job.

We’re having Haoran’s side of the family over for Christmas this weekend. Our first Christmas in our house. Our first Christmas with our precious boy. So we’re trying to figure out… what makes it Christmas for us?

Well, when it comes to us… or our family in general… food makes the atmosphere. And, face it, food is important at Christmas time.  Haoran is making his famous turkey from last year – this may be a tradition in the making. I am making fabulous gluten free, dairy free desserts (it’s not that difficult!). One is an apple and rhubarb pudding. My mum taught me this pudding – it’s super easy. Make your pie filling i.e. boil apple and rhubarb with sugar cloves and cinnamon to oblivion, and pour a gluten free cake mix over the top. Bake and you’re done! I may sprinkle some icing sugar over the top so it looks a bit more complicated.

My other dessert is a lemon meringue pie. I admit I’ve only made the lemon filling so far… but it doesn’t seem too hard. Actually the hardest part will probably be making gluten free pastry. I’m trying a new recipe so we’ll see if it cuts it in the big time.

18 hours late – early on the morning of

Oh MAN!

Haoran and have finally succumbed to the colds that have been dancing around our glands for the last few days.  We both feel like rubbish and we’re supposed to be hosting Christmas???  Thank you God for parents and brother and sister-in-law’s who will be here early to help!

The morning after…

Ohhhhhh that could have been alot worse than it actually was. But still, it was a struggle to get through it! My cold got worse and worse throughout the day. So the brunch was enjoyable (especially the Spelt and Maple museli G and M brought… YUM) and so was present opening. Well… Micah enjoyed the sound of ripping wrapping paper anyway.

But by the time people were arriving for dinner I was pretty useless. Haoran kept it together a little bit better because he was allowed to take decongestant. I tell you what… breast feeding can be a bum sometimes. Anyway I got through with a fire-engine-red dripping nose, weepy eyes and temporary deafness in one ear. I looked like a had been crying and, to be honest, I felt like it several times during the evening.

Yet the food was good and plentiful (so much so that our fridge is still full) the people enjoyed themselves, and my desserts turned out mostly ok! My easy pudding could have used a bit more time in the oven. But the lemon meringue was surprisingly hard to stuff up. The best part (well… for me anyway) was that Micah went to sleep at 7 without complaint and slept through all the noise and children screaming. So good…..

So… the evening was not as idilic as I had hoped. But perhaps it will become legendary. As in – If I can do it with a humongous disgusting cold then it’s going to be EASY on a healthy day!

I may be allowing myself to wallow in self-pity and curl up in a corner today (read: recovering) but I already have a flood of plans for Christmas proper (being spent with my side of the family). I still have 5 days to concoct plans of home made marshmallows and honeycomb and other lovely goodnesses. And maybe this time I might have the presence of mind to take photos!

One of the better moments of the day

In reference to the title – Micah has now figured out how to get from sitting to on his tummy (without bashing his face on the floor) and is now commando crawling quite quickly around the room – especially on our super-slidey tiles! He quite often gets stuck in corners and cries until he’s rescued. But he definitely knows what he wants and how to get there. Right now we are trying to convince him that what he wants is not Daddy’s CD  collection.

He is alot more adventurous when he’s climbing all over us or is on a soft surface – so I guess he knows he’s much less likely to hurt himself.

He is saying ‘buh-buh- buh’ regularly – his first discernible ’word’. When he gets excited or hyperactive (Note: normally past his bedtime) he starts shaking his head and making laughing sounds with a huge grin on his face. He also started clapping which possibly started off accidentally but now – since we’ve encouraged it – is quite purposeful.

Ok here comes the crazy child prodigy bit. He has figured out how to whistle! Seriously- he purses his lips and blows and sound comes out. I’m wondering whether he’ll keep on knowing how to do it… or that he’ll have to relearn it when he’s 6 or something…

Yesterday was the icing on the cake. We were packing up after church and Haoran gave his phone to Micah to play with while we were busy. Next moment I get a text message from Haoran’s phone ‘a7oP 7x’! Somehow Micah manged to unlock the keypad, type a message and send it! Haoran panicked a little thinking he may have done other things as well while the keypad was unlocked… but no.. that was it! He sent a message to his mummy.

The last week has been a little tough. This is the first time in Micah’s life where he has had to deal with some serious heat. It’s also been a challenge for us to figure out how warm or how cool we should dress him etc. Especially at night. The poor little guy has been pretty sweaty and he’s drinking a lot more water now as a result.

The other thing contributing to our tough week has been that – slowly but surely – a tooth is emerging. Micah has turned out to be one of those kids who don’t deal well with teething (I’m sure I wouldn’t either – but I have heard many stories of them just appearing without a fuss). Today has been the first day where I can really feel that little sharp tooth coming through. You can barely see it – but you can definitely feel it.

That’s all for now… I’ll be back with more amazing Micah stories soon!

(See the video here)

Therefore: the slow death of the blog.

It’s way too easy to Facebook. I get more comments, and it’s quicker. And you can be smart and quippy. I haven’t twittered yet.. mainly because I really don’t get the difference between that and updating your status (in fact people often connect the two so they don’t have to update both constantly). And, I don’t know, it seems a bit boring and one-dimensional *gasp*.

So why am I updating my blog if FB is so cool? Well… I can’t sleep and I have words running around my head and I needed to get them out. That’s all.

Life is .. well.. going quickly. It doesn’t seem so long ago that I was 8 months pregnant, moving to a suburb where we didn’t know anyone, entering the SMBC world and wondering whether we’d bitten off more than we could chew.

We’re now approaching the end of first year. I have completed my first subject (and am awaiting final results), Haoran is well and truly neck-deep in study for exams, and we have a 7 month old son! I look back and am in awe of the way God has blessed us this year.

I really am adoring being a parent – even despite the times you want to scream (see last post).  I love playing with my little boy and watching him explore the world and develop. He just constantly amazes me. I feel like I was made to be his mum.. and at the same time I can’t believe I am a mother to such an adorable boy! Rightio.. I’ll stop gushing now.

The year to come is going to be full of new challenges. Like taking our first overseas trip with a bub. Like becoming parents to a TODDLER. Like spending more time being a part-time student. Like entering the endurance part of a church plant. Like thinking about what post-college might hold.

It’s going to be a fun ride..

My Boys

Shortly after my last post, things went very pear-shaped.. and I was reminded, once again, that with a child things never stay the same.

Micah had had his vaccinations, actually I’m not sure if that was the trigger, but it was around the same time and I needed something to blame. Suddenly the routine went out the window- Micah refused to sleep during the day. I kept everything else the same, feeds, solids, baths… but come bedtime, it was a fight.

Just to clarify: when I say ‘not sleeping’, I mean willful angry screaming when any attempt is made to put him to sleep, and constant whinging when I give up and let him stay up.  This is hard to deal with on a good day. 2 weeks of it turned me into a quivering weepy wreck. It’s not just the sleeplessness, it’s the emotional toll, it’s having to hear your baby scream and cry and not knowing how to make it ok. It’s the fact that you can’t do anything! It’s the expectations that you give to yourself and fail to live up to, it’s the shame you feel when you admit your problems to someone else.

At the height of the woefulness I finally took action. I didn’t start enforcing a strict routine, call Tresillian or skip the country. I just sent some prayer request emails. That was actually a really hard thing to do, it felt like giving up. But later I realised it was something I should have done days ago… put my trust in God.

I sent those emails on a Tuesday. From the moment I did, I started feeling so much better. The dark cloud lifted.

We had a extremely busy weekend, and I knew that if things continued the way they were we were going to have to cancel altogether. But we didn’t have to. On Friday suddenly something clicked in Micah’s little brain and things were back to normal. God is good.

Since then things have gone from good to better. Not only has Micah started to sleep.. he’s started to have good long sleeps. Instead of 4 short sleeps he does two long sleeps. Our only challenge now is to get him to sleep in early evening. Evenings are still a bit of a battle where sleep is concerned – but I would prefer that to a week ago!

I should mention that throughout the whole fiasco that I was trying to keep up the encouragement to sleep through the night. And it’s paid off. We did it! No more 3am feeds!

And all this extra sleep makes for a happy chumbawumba.